Finally, after so long. I emptied my main feelings, and I actually told him. I told him what his words and acts do to me. I told him how I want to leave this place and life. I told him it all, just summarized.
Now all that I’m waiting for, is his response, his reaction. Will he kick me out of his life entirely? Will he take me in even more? [I highly doubt that] Will I become just another regular girl to him? Will he be even more depressed than ever? Will he care, or will he ignore it? Will he hate me? Or.. Will things just stay the same like always, unchanging and dead?
Who knows the answer to that question. Only he does, and I don’t exactly think he got it yet. Probably tomorrow. We’ll see. Any result from it is fine. I can work my way around anything. And Stephanie, I think maybe you’re going to lose the bet. Because I don’t see how he could still like/love me after all this time and the stuff we’ve been through since the break-up.
I won’t be sad by how he reacts. I’ve told myself that before, but maybe this time I’ll follow it. I can’t be the perfect person at all. But I can try. I know I wasn’t born special, I’m still not special, and I will die not special. But at least I can be myself.
Reminiscing 
Chen Said:
on July 5, 2009 at 7:10 am
i have read your post… i felt sad because I can relate to it.
how i wish I have the courage to says things what I felt….